#like ik theres ppl that dont do that on here but theres definitely ppl who do and I can usually tell who is more likely to be like that

[kavennnn]

"bedrotting is a privilege because i dont have the time to bed rot. when i get home from work im excited that i get to bed rot" Do yall know what that word means

[faebriel]

my most controversial star wars opinion is that i think lux bonteri is not a horrible concept per se but perhaps underutilised

[snekdood]

the vast gulf of a difference between ppl unfollowing or blocking me on tumblr and people unfollowing or blocking me on deviant art cant be understated

[lighthouseshepard]

I know you just had top surgery - how was it? How was the healing process? I’m scared to death of surgery but I desperately need these off

HI NYX!!! ok im gonna try and be as brief and concise as possible because theres honestly quite a lot i could talk about but! heres some thoughts under the cut

so honestly as someone who has had a few surgeries in the past for other medical issues - this ranked VERY low on the pain scale. maybe a 4/10 tops at its worst (although i do understand everyone is different). the surgeon kept telling me "many people do not find this operation particularly painful" and i did not believe him one bit until afterwards. i had prescription pain medicne and antibiotics to take, but honestly i only needed the prescription medicine for about 3 days, and then after that i was fine with tylenol. after a week really i didnt need to take anything consistently, it was here or there if i happened to start moving around too much.

the worst part for me overall was the BANDAGES. after you wake up youre gonna be wrapped within an inch if your life with ike 2 inches of gauze and tape and an ace wrap holding it all together. if you have drains (which i did) you can't shower until they're out and the bandages come off, anywhere from 5 to 7 days usually. mine was 7 days and i was miserable. the drain emptying wasnt that bad tbh, someone helped me the first 2 times and then i was able to do it myself afterwards. if youre bad with blood or bodily fluids then youll def need someone to help you there. the drain removal process, to be completely honest, was. also bad. it lasted maybe five seconds per drain but i didnt breathe right like they told me to and had a vasovagal reaction and passed out. i dont say this to dissuade you! but it was not pleasant

the main thing probably is gonna be stiffness and soreness. you literally won't be able to do anything with your arms for at least a few days - its bordering on 2 weeks for me and im just now able to pull a shirt over my head without stiffness. you DEFINITELY will need someone to help you with basic tasks those first few days, getting food, getting dressed, etc. some ppl get bruising on their chest just from the skin being manipulated and etc but surprisingly i havent had any bruising yet?

also!! again some places differ, but mine was a same day surgery. after a few hours of waking up i was able to be bundled into the car back to the hotel. youre gonna be really groggy but i was able to walk just fine, albeit very slowly with help. the surgery itself was the blink of an eye to me. i remember them putting an o2 mask over my face and then i was OUT. seconds later i was being dragged up out of unconscious well by the nurse's voice.

ill say too, i 100% understand the nervousness and fear. the 2 weeks leading up to the surgery were like. awful andnsnjf. i was so anxious and terrified of the pain only to find it genuinely was not that bad at all. you know the this too shall pass lighter i have. i slept with that clutched in my hand the entire night before surgery. it was very much a "do it scared" situation and having those things of comfort and reassurance whatever they are to you can help immensely. and i did do it! and the relief i felt a week after when i finally got to see made literally all of it worth it. theres still healing to go (i took a month off work also) but im taking it very slowly and trying not to rush enjoyment of this body c: most of the healing process has been letting the body do its natural work and being patient with it, a thing i am usually not. i still have to dress the area for another 2 weeks maybe, but then i can start scar care!!!

[pumpkinsy0]

PUMPKIN I NEED YOU TO GIVE ME AS MANY REASONS WHY PURLY IS THE BEST SHIP!! MY FRIEND IS TRYING TO CONVINCE ME THAT IT SUCKS AND I NEED TO PROVE HER WRONG

-🍵🧊

this feels like the equivalent of giving the bat signal in the sky for me to come

ANYWAYS LETS GO🚨🚨🚨

shipping papercut is like making a sandwich at subway, u can say it sucks all u want, but my brother in christ, U made it that way, this ship is like one of thee “u can do whatever the fuck u want w these two and u can make it make sense” ship u can possibly have in this fandom, if u dont like papercut, maybe its just UR rendition of it u dont like, pick it up n try it again w different things added to it to see if u like it🙄🙄

this ship is literally at the VERY BASE of it, opposites that compliment each other attracting and high school sweethearts and ur telling me ur not at least a lil interested🤨🤨AND I WASNT KISSING W THE ARTISTIC LIBERTY U CAN TAKE W THESE TWO, they can literally be enemies to lovers, that aloof couple trope, fake dating that turned real, u can even make ur own way on how they got together, u can pick and choose its like an all u can eat buffet, ur not rlly “trapped by canon” here

these r literally two dumbasses together like all the time, just imagine the dumb but sweet things they find themselves doin, and the ppl they annoy, just have a heart

if u like angst, curly was in the reformatory for 6 months after ponys life was quite literally changed forever, curly doesnt quite understand his own emotions, pony tries to see the good in the world while curlys always in trouble, AND THERES OTHERS IF U JUST DIP UR TOES INTO SHIPPING EM, the angst potential is RIGHT there🗣️🗣️

at the very base of this ship, theres nothing wrong w it, theres no weird age gap, they wouldnt be abusive towards each other, and ik some ppl have issues w this but also, but its a rare “not dating within the gang” ship, so u would HAVE to go out of ur WAY to make it weird, literally nothing wrong w this ship

if u love the relationship pony has w the gang, this ship can definitely help u expand on ponys relationship w everyone as a whole and u can show off just how protective the guys can become when it comes to pony in his own romantic relationships, what other ship u know is doin that🤨🤨BARELY ANY OF EM IF U DID NAME SOME🗣️🗣️🗣️

honestly same thing goes w the shepards, theres no other ship where u have angela and tim’s relationships w curly being explored through any other ship

while pony and curly r friends during the outsiders, its obvious they arent THAT close to each other, and so what i find interesting about this ship is that u can imagine their own little relationship actually building up and the trust in each other growing, as time goes on, i just think its cool to see them actually flourish, just make something entirely new because of the other and with each other, in a different way from other ships in this fandom

im a literal suckerrrr for cultural hcs so i love when theres cultural aspects actually shown with this ship i think its so cool bc it can get pretty intimate, like curly showing and introducing pony to parts of his culture???? so intimate actually SO underrated, and thats rlly only something i see done w the shepards and it rubs off on this ship as well and i love it 1000/10 (while we here can i convince u of haitian shepards🤔🤔 /lh)

they have shared experiences!!! yes they r opposites attract but they r also just some guys who r put in the same situation, trying to navigate life and protect each other, together, and even in their personal lives, theres things that should push them away from the other but it doesnt, they r this fandoms ship equivalent of the indomitable human spirit and thats all bc they r stupid lil dudes together

are u not a sucker for a guy whos pretty much been closed off emotionally a good chunk of his life finding someone to share his life w and finally finding learning to chillax once in a while w that person and that person alone cause theyre special to em?? boooooo🧱🧱🧱🧱🧱thats such a good trope

this is like the only ship where u actually have “rival” gangs interacting w each other,,,WHERE IS UR SENSE OF ADVENTURE

every shipper of them is literally so cool, like literally, ive never met a shitty shipper of these two, shipping them is like having a vip pass, and its not even like a huge group of ppl, its a small community, we r like a quiet village, unlike SOME SHIPS HERE🙄🙄

ANYWAYS i rest my case, ur just bein a lil haterrrr

if this aint convince ur friend that they arent at least a lil good, the problem isnt the ship,,,its ur friend,,,drop em immediately, but if this did??? welcome to the cool club

[my-castles-crumbling]

hey cas

before i start i just wanna say that i think ur doing something rly amazing with how u help ppl

ur so cool and i defo look up to u sm!!!!!

so

idk where to start again lmao

im the same anon who asked about the shitty friends and prom

but now theres more sadly :(

so mum and dad had the next door neighbours round and normally id love that dads friend (who for the purpose of this well call d) is rly great and happy and just generally a golden retriever type guy which is cool

and d's gf (who well call s) is also great and loves to talk to me about the horses and shit (cuz i have 2 but they own an andalusian stud farm which is so cool!!!!) and s helps me when idk what to do and shit (im 15) cuz even tho ive had z (my homebred one) since i was like 6 months im still by NO means an expert so having s and d rly help

i added the context cuz i rly look up to them and i wanted to show how much

they mean a lot to me

so they came round fri night and we had lasagne (my favourite) and it was rly cool

but

somehow we got onto the subject of trans ppl. idek how but here we r ig 🤷🏻‍♂️. so ik that mum is vaugly transphobic (she talks about it a lot) but i always thought it was just like she doesnt like us. but it turns out that both mum dad s and d all HATE trans ppl. like a lot. so i was just sat there. the ONLY person defending trans rights and stuff and d and dad were talking about sum else idk so it was just mum and s. but they kept on going on and on about it. like no matter what i said theyd still hate us. so i recorded it. lots of it. atleast a good 7 mins straight of them talking shit. so eventually i got up and had a mini little panic attack in the bathroom (love that for me) but it was ATLEAST 2 hrs of this atp. but mums best friends r all lgbtq+ supportive. theyd be horrified at all this and all she said. and i have recordings. on the one hand i want nothing more than to ruin everything for her (i already had reduced amounts if empathy but now i feel nothing at all for them which is a shame ig) but on the other hand i just wanna forget it... kinda (shes still my mum)

obvs im not coming out as gender fluid like ever but im pretty sure atp she knows im bi lmao (my best friends mum who crochets is already making me a pride flag LMAO)

but this leads me on to my other thing

i said i already had reduced empathy but now i feel nothing. or as close to nothing as i can get w them being my parents. but its weird cuz i can still feel like care i used to have. i just cant... get to it

u know what i mean?

but i can feel myself slipping into having no care for anything at all (im already depressed so numbness is quite normal but this feels... different?)

idk what to do

also i have LOADS of issues in my head and i told mum about them and she just basically said its cuz of my ADHD (im not even diagnosed shes just CONVINCED i have it) cuz she thinks that ADHD is already a chemical imbalance so this isnt too far off. but surely even if it wad from ADHD id still go to like therapy and shit cuz i still feel it no matter where its coming from?

but yh

that happened ig

oh and after i ended up talking to some friends and having a panic attack but my friends rly helped and said theyre always there for me but after i said i was going to bed (it was like half 11 pm atp but we have diff time zones (im british lots of them r american)) i ended up staring at the wall for 4 hrs dissociating and then had a panic attack (rly bad this time) cuz what do u mean i literally lost 4 hrs?

but yh

that happened ig

doesnt rly matter lmao

anywhore feel free to ignore this if its triggering or u dont wanna answer it ❤❤❤

Hi!

It definitely matters, and that sounds so upsetting. I wouldn't send the recording out, but I mean...idk it might be petty, but maybe the next time your mum and her friends are all around together, bring up trans rights. See how it goes? Only if you're prepared to hear her say mean shit, but it could be interesting to see if her friends can talk sense into her.

I'm so sorry though, that's devastating and I'm so glad you have friends to support you. Naming you three hearts anon!

[mitski-solos]

finally finished dmmd!! took me like 15 hours but we got there

general thoughts— had way more plot and world building than i expected, thought itd be just pay gorn to be completely honest

fuck mink i skipped thru half his story

did NOT care for koujaku. dont get why ppl like him so much i mean he literally rapes aoba(i dont care that he was in berserk mode or whatever)

ig from the main routes i liked clear(we do NOT talk abt the bad ending) and noiz the most but cant praise them either i honestly didnt feel attached to ANY of these LIs

also fun fact since i brought up clears bad ending…. it was the very first ending i got.. so a very nice first impression indeed!

i liked the twins, virus and trip(ik they arent twins but its easuer to js call them that) in the very beginning, tho i did get a weird vibe from them bc twins ALWAYSSS end up being shady in japanese media! so the ending was no surprise

i think ren and aoba definitely do have the cutest good ending and make the most sense but its crazy how they got selfcest(bc ren used to be a part of aoba), incest(bc he came back to life in sei’s body…) and zoophilia(bc he was a dog for years and still has dog mannerisms (tho i dont think that its zoophilia at all its just fun to joke abt)) all in a single LI like damn were they checking off boxes???😭

first thoughts were “yaoi jesus here i come” and final thoughts were “omg fucking finally im done with this game‼️‼️”

overall it was nowhere near as enjoyable as i thought it would be ngl but it was still plenty fun AND its ok bc aoba is an icon and i think everyone who knows what the word yaoi means should definitely play this game. its a monument of queer history!!/hj

edit: THERES A FCKING SPINOFF???? kms

[mwagneto]

sherlock & co. review from an insane person (me) coz this is like. the 25th? sherlock adaptation i've checked out so ofc i have opinions on everything ever. and ik ppl who work on indie podcasts browse tumblr sometimes so just in case you work on this DON'T click keep reading, this post is not for youuu shoo. thanks x

ok so far it's like. fine? which is lowkey sad coz i wish it was smtg i really liked but it hasn't gripped me yet which is a shame but yknow. early days. i'm giving it time since it's only 15 episodes so far

my main issue is like. i really wish it wasn't so obviously influenced by bbc but it just so clearly is which is a shaaame like it's better than bbc in every aspect but yknow. not a high bar to clear. like it kinda feels like they liked a lot of things abt bbc and set out to fix the bad parts (h&w friendship being nonexistent, the mysteries being shit) but just kept the rest? in some places keeping things that were invented by bbc which is. baffling tbh

i'm not really picky when it comes to h&w personalities like i think it's fine to just do whatever you want w them, i think it's really fun when an adaptation gives them different personalities than what you're used to but, and this is where it feels far too bbc-ish for comfort, i just don't like it when sherlock is a cunt for no reason? like. he's not a mean person he's only mean in bbc coz moffat thought house md was cool and ripped it off. can we stop making him mean pleeeease 😭 he's just some guy..................

h&w relationship wise it's like... ok so i tend to go into adaptations with a fully clean slate so like i never let my general attachment to them influence how i view them in specific adaptations, the work itself needs to sell me on both the characters and the relationship and like... here neither of those really happened yet which makes me sad coz i think by now it should've but i'm giving it time. at least they're friends and i like that watson is useful for cases/knows things holmes doesn't sometimes coz thats like. such an essential element to sh stories for me and a loooottt of adaptations tend to just completely forget it so that's a win but idk if anything they're too tame? like i dont expect a romance but they can't just be casual friends they need to be bat shit crazy about each other. to me. but like maybe that'll develop over the rest of the podcast we'll see

kinda related to that point but case-wise i think holmes is a bit too ahead of everyone else sometimes which isn't inherently a problem but it does once again smell of bbc which like. noone should ever emulate moffat writing don't do that 🙏 god bles. but i've been able to solve every case along with/before the mcs which is like. thee point of mystery stories for me so yea i really like the stories themselves so far, especially the way they manage to make them solvable even without visuals or narration. OH and i almost forgot but i rly like the soundtrack, i love it when sh soundtracks have a heavy emphasis on violins coz. yknow

howeverr i am on my hands and knees begging them not to give watson a girlfriend tho like please oh myfffucking god . obvs watsonlock doesn't usually factor into my enjoyment of adaptations given that like. y'know. out of the hundreds out there theres only two where either of them is even gay so it's not something i expect nor require but like. to me it is essential that these two ppl are insane abt each other and don't really have anyone else, definitely noone important. like even the rdj movies got this despite ritchie's obsession w the 2 men 1 woman dynamic so idk why i'm constantly having to wage a war against random unnecessary romances for either watson or, god forbid, holmes. when the only interesting relationship either of these men have is with each other. that one granada holmes quote about them choosing not to include mary coz holmes and watson dont need anyone else etc etc. like i seriously dislike it when they introduce anyone else like cmonnnnnn thog dont care

anyway tldr. i guess if asked to pick a short description i'd say. promising? i hope it's gonna be good in the long run. the way they do mysteries is already something i like so. i hope they keep that up and i hope the h&w relationship evolves into something i enjoy coz so far i'm like. i can see the bones of smtg i'll potentially like but it's not there yet. but also like. this is an indie production i'm listening to for free so ion wanna rip into it these are mainly just what i liked/disliked based on the preferences i developed with this one quick trick (grow up completely insane abt sherlock holmes -> consume every adaptation that you can get your paws on -> no profit)

[p0th]

ik im probably rlly late to the party but what is objectum, like is it a role play thing, is it a coping thing? I need someone to explain it to me like im 5 bc i genuinely just don't understand what it is lol

So the literal definition of being objectum is someone who's attracted to inanimate objects, whether that be platonic, romantic, sexual, or somethin else. However, looking at it with only its literal definition doesn't really account for the intricacies that such a label brings.

I just want to point out that while some people see objects as alive (the label for that being POSIC), others dont. Animism is also a similar term for where people percieve inanimate things as having souls. Personally, I dont see my object as alive, but do sometimes use gendered terms to describe them and feel comforted by their presence. People can also be objectum and be attracted to actual people too.

Being objectum is also more common in autistic people. Object personafication is a common trait seen in autism and other disorders and i can see how that can lead people to being objectum. Though I have never been formally diagnosed with anything, i am probably neurodivergent & maybe that has a part in me identifying as objectum idk!! Theres a study on autism in objectum ppl here if u want to glance over it: https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-019-56449-0

For me, I started using the objectum label coincidentally around the time I started finally figuring out that i was aroace and not attracted to real people. I realized that the love I feel for my friends is equivalent to the love I feel for my hobbies and interests which was also the same love i felt towards certain objects. I drew this out cuz i think its a lil confusing how im saying it LOL. Theres also a thing called "conceptum" which is the attraction to concepts which I think i actually fall more into, but I just go by objectum because it is more general.

You know how people will swear they have this great relationship with nature? How they feel so so connected to plants and how they love watching the ocean and how they wish they could live outside forever because the forest is a part of their flesh and blood? How they feel more alive feeling the earths fresh air and how nature teaches them things they never even knew about themselves? okay, so, why is this normal to say but once u turn it around into something that’s an object it is insane talk!! I feel like there's this interesting dynamic where its okay to be super attached to nature but kinda weird to be super attached to inanimate things but i think i am rambling & getting off topic!!!

Personally, I dont really have objects that im attracted to in the same way I would be attracted to a human. It is very broad for me. Others though, have certain objects that they really like and thats fine. For me, going by that label just makes me comfortable even if i dont fit into the literal definition. I like computers in general, not just my own personal computer. Objectum for me is just another way to say that my love for inanimate things can be just as great as my love for animate things. Theres just so much complexity and nuance in it that it is hard to describe unless you've experienced it yourself.

As for it being a coping thing, I've heard some people say its a result of not being able to trust people due to past trauma, but i dont believe that's necessarily true for the majority of people and not too good to generalize. Ive grown up surronded by friends and in a loving environment and am able to maintain relationships with living people, but also use the label of objectum because it makes me comfortable.

I can very much see how someone can look at someone saying theyre attracted to objects and just cringe a little bit and thats okay LOL. At this point, I have been exposed to so many concepts -being online so much and surrounded by so many diverse people- that i just dont even pay it mind. But, I know a lot of people have literally never heard of this label before and are just weirded out by it. I think honestly people need to think about the limitless potential a relationship can be when in the hands of such a complex being as a human. At the end of the day though, it doesn't hurt anyone but its also okay to be a lil unsure of it as an outsider. Just be kind to others!!

Im sorry if this is a bit of word vomit, if u cant tell i got a lil too into it & my thoughts tend to be rlly scattered LOL. thank u 4 the ask & plz let me know if u need any clarity on anythin cuz i know i am very hard to follow at times !!!

[divinesangel]

ik u say everything is alleged but theres likely a lot of truth to it but its just sad tbh like they want to do music but not be treated like puppets or an object but thats kind of what the idol image is really, realistically they cant even fully be themselves naturally without having to alter some aslect of their personality and even then if idols do one thing they can get hate train if fhey tryo alter it they still get hate train. its like they cant win and ppl like yg and probs even jyp as well dont even show concern for when idols are upset with something. what do u think will change if at all or will kpop remain the way it usally handled idols?

not using tarot here, but i think this is how every industry works more or less. i think it's worse with kpop because most fans are deranged. putting jennie as an example, it's insane the amount of hate that she gets for doing literally nothing. it's kinda the same with wonyoung. if they were western celebrities, things would be much different, and they definitely wouldn't get treated like that. it's obvious that it's all coming from the people who follow kpop. it's kinda hypocritical for the stans to preach about wanting idols to be more free, but the second they are, they trend on social media + have a hate train.

i think that in order for the industry to change, the public needs to change first. because it's not even k-fans at this point, but international fans as well.

[zeltqz]

I felt this needed to be sent as an ask. I know it's one of the hardest things to do (writing when your motivation is weighing) but you have to try your best NOT to listen to them (those who keep asking for updates with no consideration of what it's like for the author). Pressure ain't doing nothing but motivating negativity. I know the guilt, I've been there. At the end of the day I gave what I could and the fic ended up being discontinued a month ago. I permanently quit writing because I felt it was so overwhelming and stressful despite being something I absolutely love doing, I just couldn't take knowing people waited for my updates, I was disappointing them and that disappointed me. Talk about depression. Writers depression is very real. So eventually I unpublished my wattpad fics, deleted all my Tumblr fics, and stayed a silent reader, I wrote short poems or small works here and there for my private instagram, just whenever I felt like it. I honestly thought it was permanent. Until a friend of mine started writing which sparked my interest in it again. So I restarted my blog a couple days ago. Gave thought to what it was I wanna write and how I want this blog to be different. Atm I'm barely writing, I started 3 fics last week yet they remain in my drafts untouched with no further progress. But I can honestly say the nonchalance and freedom I have is quite nice, I try to write here and again. Or even if a single sentence or dialogue comes to mind I note it down, that gave life to another sentence and another and another until I put it together and it formed about a decent paragraph.. I'M RAMBLING. I lost track of what I was supposed to say. I don't even know the main point of this story. Forgive me. But seriously, the best advice I can give is to unburden yourself before you drown. Literally. Write what you want when you can, your wips, don't delete them!! I promise you some time later you'll definitely be inspired for them again. And when u do you'll be able to literally write more for it!! I have an idea from 2 yrs ago and it's pretty decent, with some editing it could be even better. So please don't delete them 😭😭 and don't let people push you to update. You can if you can and You can't if you can't!!! I'm here if you need any help 🙏🏻 I noticed that talking about your writing with someone who reciprocates your energy can ignite a full on passionate conversation that will lead to creating quality work!! Like new ideas or even roots to go for old works.. It's a good way to keep the motivation flowing when you're running thin 🤍🤍🤍

this is honestly the sweetest piece of advice soeone ever gave me. its so detailed and relatable too because i used to be a wattpad writer back in 2021 and then ppl kept on asking for update update update and it was so stressful so I just logged out of the account and to this day i havent logged back in 😭😭

as someone who used to be a silent reader i understand the frustration of needing an update. dont get me wrong i understand. i used to feel that exact way because fics were my only source of happiness at one point in my life when everything was shitty. but now im actually writing them, i know why some writers dont want to update so fast because its so much pressure when theres 5-6 ppl in ur inbox asking for update update update

ik how hard it is to finish a story but also how desperate it can get for the readers waiting for said update. which is the reason im constantly trying to keep writing but now i feel like i just cant. im such a perfectionist i dont post anything i dont feel is my best but rn i feel like none of my works are and its making me slack a lot and i feel like if i dont stop feeling this way then i might stop writing as a whole because its making me frustrated

writing genuinely makes me happy bc i feel like its an escape from reality (which i desperately need bc i hate my life) but i cant write good enough which is making me annoyed because i need that reality escape sooooo bad

and the reason i asked yesterday which fics of mine were peoples favourites, most of them were the series that i had deleted from my page because i reread them and hated it so bad. now im rewriting it but with this lack of motivation its one of the hardest things ive had to do in a while

and i barely talk to ppl about my fics because idk i barely recieve comments about them except for PT 2 PLS. like as much as i would LOVE to write part 2 3 4 5 6 7 etc its not motivating enough since i dont have anyone motivating me to write.

ugh this is a lot i dont except anyone to read this but THANKS FOR THE ASK <3

[msallurea]

hii ms allurea! i saw what you just posted and i just want to say, as someone’s who has asked you questions before, you always helped me so so much! i’m in a similar situation as you too, so i understand that feeling of wanting to give up on everything and on life. but i overcame these thoughts when someone told me that it’s just a solution to a problem that can be solved if i just keep going. it’s not that i didn’t want to live anymore, it’s i didn’t want to live that life forever, i didn’t want to live a life like that anymore, and so what i can do is just change and manifest, because nothing is permanent and NOTHING is written in stone. i know maybe not a lot of people thank you enough for the help you give to the loa community, but i want to thank you, i don’t know how many times i’ve had questions and tried to get answers but was told i had to pay for coaching, you didn’t, you answered and tried your best to help (which you did and i have an loa blog now too!!!) It’s completely okay to crash out and feel your emotions, i think sometimes it helped me more than just act like everything was okay 24/7, but you’re so so important to people, to your future, and to people you haven’t meet yet! so again thank you so much, i hope i helped a bit :)) feel better 💗

kisses <333

Thank you for the kind words. Tbh i dont really look for thanks here because as we can see theres plenty of loa blogs around on tumblr but i made this loa blog just to not feel alone as well as hoping that what i make reaches the right ppl at the right times when they need it most i dont expect much in return from it or even a thank u simply because i dont ever want anyone to feel the way i have all these years as well as suffer because ik when i wanted help i defibitely wished there was somewhere there before i got to this point. Everyone deserves a happy life and to be at peace I'll stand by that forever

And yes I feel very similar it's not that I want to die because trust if I did me with loa would've died a long time ago but you're 100% right about not wanting to live this kinda life anymore and thats exactly where I'm at with it that's always been where I was at with it and if death is an option to escape from living this kinda life I most definitely take it into consideration every single time. But yes you're right that all we can do is change and manifest since as you said nothing is permanent. However I would be lying to yall if I said that doing that, though is simple it isn't easy for others like me. But I get what you're saying.

I will continue to manifest though after all I didn't do all this for nothing but today definitely marks as kinda a countdown for me. I wanna still be there for those that care and love me but idk how much more of this I can take. It's similar to a generator going out and now you're on your last defenses. Ik that's not the best thing to say and I should speak more positively but as I mentioned in my post, I don't think anything is gonna change my mind on how I feel n knowing me once I make a decision on something it's very hard for me to turn back on it especially when it comes to my peace being involved. Not to scare or trigger u or anyone else, but personally this is just where I'm at with it.

But again thank you and I am happy my blog was able to help you in your journey, do have many more successes and blessings to come☺️

[gayspock]

OK assorted black sails thoughts bc i didnt wanna make a billion individual posts

- first of all i find starz funny bc for real i swear ive never freaking heard of it before, except for torchwood: miracle day which.... literally i never finished but thats a whole ramble for another time (bc despite torchwood being VERY bumpy, i found a lot of value in it, but miracle day was just. give us nothing! to me...help)

- the women on the show are kind of a shame i mean. im not fuming its more of a (dejected sighhhh) lies back do you know what i mean bc its hardly worse than anything else but help... theyre all gorgeous models thus far do you know what i mean. i dont know. i think its just odd sometimes to look at it when the men are all fucking foul looking, mucky type of guys (<3!) and then the girlies are just like hiii<3 like okay LOL. max is rlly pretty tho (as is the lass in the hat- whose name i didnt atch..) so i shant be mad but its also likehelp... even just an OLDER? woman. not even one? sniffy sniffy? okayyy i'll settle

- the gentleman do have some wonderful haircuts i will say. rackham's stoner transmasc that hangs about in unique trousers round the back of spoons.... i mentioned it already but help. your rat tail... and flints pathetic and limp little ponytail. shrimptastic it is.... and johnny silver. (twirls his hair for him)

- INTRO ALSO FUCKS LIKE MAD BTW.

- i love a woman with daddy issues. i cant relate to any of them. not to eleanor, or to shiv or helena or any of the fine women with father problems despite having many of my own. but its very fun to watch them. like girlies (twirls my hair) just give him a slap.... who cares<3

- btw im screaming... john is sooo funny. what a silly little guy. i think hes going to get himself killed he is like a looney tunes character who should have been dead 5 scenes ago but he keeps defying all sense and falling pianos. the very definition of a rapscallion. he is a problem to us all

- whent hey just state their names and theit ships at each other. okay so cute girlies i bet you'd write that in your tinder bios huh<3?

- also i know i keep mocking and also fawning over flints stupid little ponytail but i think he for real deserves long gorgeous beautiful hair. like it would only make sense.

- theres so many guys in here from other things but only a little bit. i know i mentioned billy bones (SO FUNNY STILL) who keeeepsss following me but everyone else is sorta recogniseable. charles was in the 100 ik this. but like hi eeryone hii LOL

- "however what?" "however let me tell you a story. about a spaniard named vazquez." I THINK FLINT LITERALLY SAYS THIS HENEVER ANYHTING AWKWARD HAPPENS TO HIM. I THINK HE LITERALLY DROPS AND SMASHES A PLATE IN IKEA AND THEY COME OVER TO HIM AND HE JUST SAYS LET ME TELL YOU A STORY. I THINK THEY CATCH HIM NICKING 5P BAGS FROM TESCO AND HES LIKE HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT A GENTLEMAN VAZQUEZ. I THINK, PERHAPS, FLINT WOUL HIT SOMEONE WITH A CAR UNDER THE INFLUENCE. AND SIMPLY SAY THE URCA DE LIMA.............. IT WILL PAY FOR YOUR INSURANCE. GOD.

- also i dont know treausre island that well . do you guys think itd be worth a read at some point. not even wrt the show here just idk ik these guys are those guys <3

- i will say also tho btw. u know that reminds me of. i love it when ppl get rlly mad abt, like, funny re-imaginings of old stories, myth and folklore like this. SORRY. JUST SAYING. i remember of all the issues there were bbc merlin, ppl fucking fuming bc it disgraces arthurian legend. girlie i dont think colin morgan made patheitc little fuck me eyes for 5 seasons for authenticity.

- speaking of. sir percival billy bones is so funny. its like theyre keeping him around just to take the piss of their big strapping guy arent they.

- i also love gates. one like to slap his bald head

- ANNE? IS THAT HER NAME? I WANT HER CREEPY CRAWLY PUSSY SO BADLY. i realise thats her name. i think. shes also like... insanely fucking hot. im like obsessed with her a bit. its the hat. and the voice. i would not give a shit otherwise- i do admit.

- ALSO: THE SEX WORKERS AT THIS PORT ARE LITERALLY THE ONLY PEOPLE WITH ANY FUCKING COMPETENCE.

- I KNOW I KEEP GOINGON ABTO HIS HAIR BUT T. THE VERY DEFINITION OF T BOY SWAG I TBHINK IM ABOUT TO PUKE

- NO WAY NO WAYYYY HE STINKS OF WEED SO BAD

- RIGHT UH- this is one of the issues of just putting uncollected thoughts into a post like this, ehrm. im approaching the scene i was warned about

- i had a feeling.... with vane. i was worried he was going to force himself on eleanor after the warnings- because certainly, his character is portrayed in a particular way thus far, to the point where it was like... well had i not been warned, i wouldnt think it, but yeah. ehrm. i guessed.. him - or at least, he would have sth to do with it, as he has here- but god. i forgot about max and i was just thinking: they wouldnt let her go, surely that makes no sense with how early we are into the show, unless its one of THOSE shows where characters are brought in and out like theres a fucking rotating door, with no rhyme or reason- but no ehrm.. yeah. :(

- and now jesus. eleanor girlie i know he ha slong hair but jesus dont just mount him cmon... cmon!!

- sighhh... ok!! end of ep 3. really sombre way to end but <3 there we go... I'LL drop this now. idk if i'll watch more tonight orrrr wht! :3 love and light

[pumpkinsy0]

Ponyboy music need hcs?? Because I am a music nerd and he is literally me

not to sound cringy but i e been thinking about the outsiders x splatoon for funsies and ive thought about pony being somewhat of a music nerd bc the splatoon games has a lot to do w music

ANNNYYYWHOOOOOO

•he tries to b so lowkey about it, if u mention a music artist near him its like he almost combust trying to not spew facts about their music n such

•ik he tries slipping in his interest of music into convos to try and test the waters to see if its safe talking about it more around ppl😭

•as for what genre he specifically likes, ive seen ppl say ponys a country music guy and im not saying hr WRONG, but i dont think hes purely country music, he likes different genres, some more than others, but still!!!

•he actually doesnt rlly know how to play instruments 100% bc hes broke and doesnt have one TO play, but he strikes me as the kinda guy who wouldve been forced to play like the flute or something in music class, either that or they piano

•if a song is playing in the radio his fav parts r usually the ones ppl skim pass like the bass, the way the guitar played in the back, etc etc

•loves music but REFUSESSSSS to sing, in front of anyone at least, most ppl here is him mumbling the lyrics (w curly tho i think its different curly will scream lyrics if he wants and pony sometimes joins in for the fun of it)

•what got him into music was his mom and her always playing the small vinyl collection she had while doing her own daily task, plus one bday soda gifted pony a shitty old radio he fixed up

•he totally daydreams a lottttt when theres music playing and thats also another reason y he lives music sm, its his own escape to another world

•pony gets so excited hearing samples from other songs, thats like his favorite thing ever

•hes definitely replaying the same song over and over and the gang could get so sick of it but look, when pony thinks somethings a banger, its a BANGER

[mg549]

rainbow high but they each have distinct and varying styles

hi im putting my Disscusion under the post cause ik lots of ppl just wanna rb the art but also i have Thoughts

-ruby’s style is the strongest in the series imo. they designed a butch lesbian and nobody told them ig. my only slight change was giving her cowboy boots cause if shes from “the country” then she should... actually... look like shes from the country. maybe its just cause i grew up in nc but i would love some southern rep from a character where being from the south isnt their whole Personality. anyways i think she should wear western style button downs is all im trying to say

-bella... her style is ALL over the place. since she is a set designer i wanted to make her a theatre kid!!! her style is somewhere in the 40s/50s zone of vintage inspired so that way she has a definite Range of styles and silhouettes to choose from! im a sucker for the new look bc its so Shapes but i could also see her pulling off some long wool circle skirts and peasant top blouses! i also gave her some hearing aids and braces which you can probably only see if you zoom in dhjnf

-poppy got the biggest design overhaul of anyone. i kept the butterfly theme and nothing else fbhdjd. since her music has some definite funk energies i wanted to give her a 70s inspired look with some glam platforms and denim overalls! i think we deserve bellbottom pantsuit poppy. i also changed her hair bc literally the rh main cast all have practically IDENTICAL hair styles save for the direction theyre parted in. i wanted to give her those anime butterfly headphones but toned down slightly hdsjdnd oh and! shes also wearing glasses bc once again we get a whole cast of characters and not one of them is wearing glasses like smh literally like half of all ppl wear glasses?? anyways in terms of personality i wanted to keep her bubbly but instead of just making music thru like Divine Inspiration i think she should take a more realistic and nuanced approach!! show her nerding out abt music theory and talking about the themes her pieces represent and the stories they tell

-sunny’s design is Mostly the same! her hair is slightly changed, i wanted it to match the cover she drew for winnerz! i also made the rainbows on her outfit pride flag colors, and gave her some button pins on her jacket! every Token Anime Kid ive ever met has buttons plastered all over their bags and jackets and its a nice touch that gives her some more Character i feel

-jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaade. jade. i wish she had kept her dark lipstick. and also that she wasnt just billie eilish. and that she was the token goth of the group. her stitched up shirt is inspired by a shirt i wore in high school! it was from the 90s and SUPER beat up to the point where it was literally disintegrating so i just sewed up any new holes that would form with contrasting thread it was a Look. i hc her as wearing contacts bc when she tried wearing glasses she got upset that she couldnt show off her makeup as much gvhbnf! i also gave her a spider necklace bc i think she should still like spiders BUT i HATE the jokes abt “therapy tarantulas” bc only dogs and like 10 horses can actually be service animals and the whole thing w people lying about their untrained dogs/cats (or worse, exotic animals that they should not even own) being service/therapy/emotional support animals just so they can bring them in public is!! Really Bad!! and it hurts people who actually do need service dogs bc untrained dogs are well. untrained and set a bad example for how service animals will actually act! and owners who print out fake certifications also make it harder for disabled ppl bc it leads to store owners thinking that theres some sort of paper they can ask the owner to flash to prove the service dog is trained when that. is not actually true and theres no such thing as an actual certificate for this. if a service dog company offers a certificate/card/whatever to show authority it is specifically for disabled people to do when faced with this issue and has no actual official meaning. and ANOTHER thing that bothers me abt this joke is that.. Therapy For What? it would be really cool to see a canonically mentally ill character as a protagonist for a doll line! it would be fantastic to see them opening up that conversation for neurodivergent kids and their parents! but we have no indication for that at All just haha funy therapy spider :| anyways jade is an nd lesbian my canon now

-skyler is punk now! shes a fashion major and i think it would be a really interesting character to explore, someone who is shy but dresses really flashy and tough! i also changed her theme material from denim to the blue leather she wears at the party bc im biased towards alt fashion. her hair was really fun to design, with a big Cloud of Fluff at the top and long braids underneath bc get it!! its Rain Cloud Shaped :] i dont have much else to say bc this design is def in my Comfort Zone of styles. anyways we stan andershaw here they literally are in love

-vi vi! i didnt change much bc i dooooooont really know that much about influencer/mainstream fashion tbqh... i Did give her That One Halter Top Style that literally 2 other of the main characters are both wearing instead of a loose 1 piece dress tho. i also decided she should be into holographic fabric bc its very Sleek and Future Is Now and Influencercore. i also think the sleek tight fitting holo shirt/skirt is a good contrast to Big Fluffy Fur Jacket. she also has a prosthetic leg idk i just thought it would be a good Touch 

overall rh def has some MAJOR problems with diversity in all aspects and it shows in their fashion design as well! if you put the characters in black and white save for a few patterned pieces they would all be interchangeable and i honestly think that its representative of the larger problem! maybe i do follow the monster high design philosophy that every piece should only make sense on the character its from, but the fact that they cant even diversify FASHION despite it being a Fashion Doll Brand really Says It All.

[dragmaballs]

earth? well i guess its pretty universal. or. pan-universal. i guess. to just call your planet "the ground" or "the dirt" huh. i guess i cant CONFIRM theres no such thing as a united states here if only bc we uh. realtalk? ill let u in on a secret. we dont know shit outside of our archipelago. its called oikos for reasons that im sure made sense to the ppl of hellas centuries ago!! and also to ppl who study linguistics or know basic facts abt their world that i didnt pay attention to.

but. uh. it might as well mean "people cage" bc leaving it is...pretty impossible. the currents and winds get so bad we cant sail or fly planes thru them. some unmanned science vessels got further out than anything else a few years ago but they just kind of. vanished. and we cant exactly afford to keep sending more n more advanced probes into the unknown if they dont even come back or give us any info. probably leviathans or worse out there! who knows!! not me! even tho i want to!

o, i didnt mean learning disabilites like. dont exist. they for sure do and we r just as bad at dealing w them! apparently. idk. ask my mom. celestine has a lot of opinions on education. i just dont think thats why im bad at geography. i was........kind of a lil shit w my mom when she was trying 2 teach me so i didnt pay attention most of the time. its ok tho bc i am now the perfect daughter and everything she could have ever wanted!! if ur asking my mom abt the education thing dont ask for her opinion on that. im perfect, trust

thank u! hehehe! >:) u definitely seem smart. obv theres like. a lot more to being smart than talkin in a composed fashion n saying reasonable things, but those sure are two checkboxes i can mark off. im sure u also tick the other checkboxes but, u kno, cant verify bc i dont know anything abt any of ur fields of expertise. way over my head!! but if ur country and company are doing well u cant be doing too bad

i wont even lie and say i understand how nanotechnology works at all, but it sounds cool. its not an unfamiliar word bc ik the scientists in brandenburg r making things w it. but i think everything theyre doing is like. medical stuff? rose could maybe tell u more. shes good at science. i think. and i am ALWAYS right. so she is for sure

You're not stupid, I can reassure you that, The USA is one of the biggest countries, one of the most powerful ones, and one of the most nosey... so everyone has heard of us for better or for worse.

I have not heard of those places at all. So you aren't from an Alternate Earth of this version of Earth I believe. Typically I have had to use categories to categorize the series of "Earths" I exist in. Also yes 50 countries, are referred to as states. A common way to describe how big a common state is to a country is that if I drove 3 miles in most states in any direction, I still would be in that state and still be in the US. It's quite large. I haven't been to all 50 states either. Thank you by the way.

Well, I wouldn't write of learning disabilities as not existing, but of course, I can't speak on your universe and how the brain develops there. Such complex organs are bound to have issues. As with any complex thing. Regardless I will have to take your word at face value here. And I see, I like to think of myself as extremely intelligent, though I'd prefer if people got my thought process, I hope people can understand yours in the future, you seem very high-spirited, it's quite charming.

Thank you, the early designs of the suit were quite bulky and harder to move in and do more delicate tasks. The current suit is built from nanotechnology, the black part of it is at least, and the metal is made from something my company developed to withstand high impacts. The suit also connects to my mind and my body and helps in many ways. It has been useful in the last few years.

That sounds fascinating, I have seen large suits, though they're not common here, much too large and if there are any it's specifically probably only for the military's use. As said we don't have anything like that here.